Teens who can’t manage their anger can cause serious problems at home and school. A toddler throwing a fit because they don’t get their way is one thing. Teenagers throwing a fit because they don’t get their way is entirely different. Teenage temper tantrums can be both scary and dangerous.
As teens start growing into adults, they need to learn to deal with their anger in a healthy way. Throughout life, things will keep happening to upset them. Life doesn’t magically get easier as an adult, so they need to learn these skills while they’re still young.
You can do several things as a parent to help your teen son learn to manage his anger. However, some teens with severe anger management problems need more help than they can get at home. This is especially true if their behavior becomes scary or dangerous when they get angry. A therapeutic boarding school for troubled teens can be helpful for the whole family in these situations.
Why do teens lose their temper?
As kids reach adolescence, their emotions can run amok and wreak havoc on their actions. They might realize that they’re overreacting but feel like they lose control when they get angry. For these kids, their lack of anger management is scary for them too. They don’t mean to act out as much as they do, and they feel bad about it once they calm back down again.
In some cases, teens know exactly what they’re doing when they lose their temper, and they’re doing it as a form of manipulation. They know that they get their way when they act scary. So, they purposefully do scary things when they’re angry to control those around them and ultimately get their way.
When addressing your teen son’s anger management, it’s important to note whether it seems like he’s trying to manipulate others or if he loses control. Teens who use aggression as a form of manipulation often struggle with mental health issues that need to be treated by professional counselors. Teens who lose control of their actions when they are angry need to learn how to manage their anger before it gets out of hand.
Helping your teen son learn to manage his anger
If your teen son loses his temper when he gets too angry, he needs to learn to manage his anger more quickly. There’s a threshold of anger for most teens where they can still control their actions, and there’s a point where they lose control. Help him learn to address his anger while he’s still in control.
Taking time to calm down
Help your teen identify the signs that he is starting to get too angry. When he’s approaching the point where he might lose control of his actions, he should step away from the situation and take time to calm down.
By stepping away and calming down, he can get his heart rate to slow back down and regain a sense of calm. Once he’s ready, he should come back and address the situation calmly.
Defining acceptable anger
Your kid will still get angry sometimes, even once he learns to manage his actions. Set clear expectations about what sort of angry behavior is acceptable and what isn’t. Rather than just telling him what he shouldn’t do when he’s mad, give him guidelines so that he knows what he should do when he’s mad.
Anger without violence
Some kids grow up thinking that anger and violence go hand in hand. This should not be the case. Help him learn new techniques to vent his anger without becoming violent. He may need some physical activity to release his pent-up energy, but he can do that without breaking anything or scaring anyone.
Using new language
In many cases, kids haven’t learned enough about their emotions to adequately express how they feel. The emotions still exist inside them, but they don’t know how to deal with them or express them to anyone else. So they lash out in the only way they know how: anger and aggression.
Teach your kid more words to express their feelings so that they can address their emotions before they become overwhelming.
If your teen’s anger issues become a serious problem at home, you may need extra intervention. Call us at 866-224-2733 to determine if our school is a good fit for your son.