When your teen starts screaming at you, genuine communication comes to a screeching halt. You’re either defensive and just trying to ride it out, or you take a more offensive approach and start screaming back. In either situation, neither of you is connecting with the other. The verbal attack overrides all sense of personal connection.
Once your teen has stormed out of the room and things calm back down, you might wonder: “How do I get my teenager to stop yelling?” They lash out in anger so often that you just don’t know what to do.
Teaching teens to communicate can be challenging. As the parent of a troubled teen, you’re probably aware that teenage emotional outbursts can spike quickly.
If your teen’s anger outbursts are getting out of hand, you might need to get professional help. Some teens learn to manage their emotions well through parental support and local treatment. Other teens face more intense mental health issues and see success in a therapeutic treatment program. The treatment concepts are the same, but treatment centers provide round-the-clock care and professional therapy.
Is it normal for teenagers to yell?
Yes, it’s normal for teenagers to yell more than when they were little kids. The teen years are a whirlwind of emotion, and they don’t always know how to handle those emotions. When teenagers start a yelling and screaming outburst, they try to communicate an emotion. They’re just communicating poorly.
Anger outbursts can be scary and challenging to handle at the moment. When your teens calm back down, their behavior needs to be addressed.
Kids need to learn how to express their emotions before reaching adulthood properly. Teens who scream at their parents can become adults who yell at their loved ones. Kids with anger issues require extra support in learning to manage their anger and communicate clearly.
Talking about emotions with your kid can feel awkward, but don’t avoid it.
What causes anger issues in teens?
Anger is a valuable emotion that arises when we feel like we’ve been wronged somehow. However, often there’s no specific cause for anger issues in teens. Teens who struggle with anger issues tend to have a chip on their shoulder. So even minor problems seem like a personal insult.
This is part of the reason for their frequent screaming and yelling. They are angry about some injustice (real or perceived), and they are taking it out on you. Teens with anger issues need to learn anger management strategies and practice communicating in a calm manner.
How do you deal with teen outbursts?
Being the parent of a teen with anger issues is challenging. Learning to deal with teen outbursts will help you ride out the storm when they yell and steer them toward positive communication.
Don’t yell back
It can be tempting to yell back at them. They’re being aggressive toward you, and you want to defend yourself. It makes complete sense! However, it’s not helpful.
When parents yell at their kids, it’s damaging to kids. Rather than teaching them how to communicate well, you reinforce that yelling is acceptable. If they’re angry, your aggression only adds fuel to the fire. It can be hard to maintain your composure but don’t yell back.
Your teen needs to know that it’s alright to be angry but that they need to communicate within the boundaries. Maybe they need to lower their volume or stop using insults and profanity. Teenagers need to know that they can still talk to adults about why they’re angry. They also need to learn to talk about their anger and maintain respect.
Try to find out about the real issue
If your teen is constantly screaming at you, there’s a reason. It might be you, and it might not be you. They could genuinely feel like you don’t care about them or don’t respect them. They could also just be angry about how things are going at school, but they can’t express how they feel at school.
Try talking to your kid about what’s going on when they’re calm. Show genuine interest, and don’t be judgmental. If your teen feels like you genuinely care, and you’re not trying to insult them, they’re more likely to respond.
If your teen refuses to communicate with you or only responds with anger, something bigger might be going on. Contact us today to speak with our caring staff about anger management treatment for teen boys.