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Writer's pictureSundance Canyon Academy

Why Does My Teen Son Break Everything When He’s Mad?

Updated: Nov 9


Teens are known for being moody and getting frustrated easily. Sometimes, their frustration can lead to sulking and regressing to their room. Other times, it can lead to angry outbursts. This period of adolescence is an important time for teens to learn appropriate ways to deal with frustration.

Some teens vent their frustration far more aggressively than their peers, though. If your teen son has started to break everything when he’s mad, there’s cause for concern. Though you and your child are likely to get into some arguments throughout their teen years, those arguments shouldn’t lead to violence. Their aggressive behavior should not disrupt the household.

If your teen son becomes aggressive when he gets angry, you may need to seek outside help. Your family should not have to walk on eggshells around your son or be worried about their physical safety. Many teens with anger issues also struggle with behavioral health problems like ADD, ADHD, or ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). Those behavioral health problems make it harder for them to regulate their emotions and learn appropriate responses to anger.

Teens who have trouble overcoming their anger often benefit from attending a boarding school for troubled boys. While in school, they learn life skills that help them manage their frustration to keep their anger tamed. By learning positive coping skills and attending regular therapy sessions, students learn to address the root of their problems.

Why do teens break things when they’re mad?

There are a few reasons that teens might start breaking things when they are mad. No matter the reason, you need to address the behavior quickly. However, it will be easier to address their behavior if you understand why they’re doing it.

Lack of healthy coping skills

When people (teens or adults) resort to breaking things when they’re angry, they’re trying to cope with a negative feeling. They might feel frustrated, cheated, embarrassed, or any other negative emotion. As a result, they do something that makes them feel a little better.

Though breaking things won’t help them in the long run, it serves a few purposes in the moment. Breaking things releases some pent up energy and lets them vent. It also puts them back in control of the situation. By breaking things that belong to other people, they feel more in control and regain some power over the situation.

Teens who behave aggressively because they lack coping skills must learn positive coping skills before reaching adulthood. As they grow up and become adults, life won’t suddenly start to go their way all the time. They need to know how to vent their negative feelings in a positive way that won’t damage anyone’s property.

Dominance and manipulation

Some teens learn that they can control others when they behave aggressively. They could choose to contain themselves if they wanted to, but they know that breaking things will get them what they want. When other people are scared of them, they have more power.

These teens need to learn positive ways to meet their goals and get what they want without harming others. By developing empathy for others, they can see the consequences of their actions and learn to respect others.

Addressing your teen’s behavior

If your teen son breaks everything when he’s mad, you need to address his behavior. Unsurprisingly, aggressive behavior in the teen years can lead to aggressive behavior in adulthood, which has severe consequences. There are a few techniques to help your teen learn to curb their behavior.

  1. Set clear rules about aggressive behavior along with consequences for breaking those rules.

  2. Follow through with the consequences if they break the behavioral rules.

  3. Give your teen alternate solutions for venting their frustration.

  4. Give your teen time to calm down when they are angry.

  5. Get outside help.

If your son’s behavior is out of hand, you may need outside help. Some teens realize that their behavior is unacceptable, and they want to change. Others see no problem with their behavior and intend to continue with it. In either case, the teens could benefit from attending a therapeutic boarding school like Sundance Canyon Academy.

Contact us today to find out if our school could benefit your family.

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